Tear Here

May 23, 2023


Lately, life has felt like a tear here moment, where I find myself standing at the edge of something uncertain and ready to rip open a new chapter. Just like the instructions on a package, urging you to tear along the designated line, life has been presenting me with opportunities and challenges that beckon for bold action. It's as if the universe is handing me a clear indication that it's time to make a tear, to break free from the old and embrace the unknown. Much like tearing open a package reveals what's hidden inside, embracing the changes and uncertainties of life lately holds the promise of discovering new experiences, growth, and the possibility of a more fulfilling journey ahead. 

On the first day of this year, I posted a tweet saying 2022 had been my most fulfilling year so far and my intention to make 2023 even more remarkable. We're almost halfway through the year, and that has yet to happen. Honestly, I feel like I've wasted the first months of the year — for a good reason. As I am waiting for this next big thing that I have been cooking up since March, I have no choice but to keep almost everything on hold. That includes delaying my capstone project as a partial fulfillment of my graduate studies, holding off investing in material things (I mean, furnitures, who am I kidding) that I've been eyeing for quite some time now, and even postponing my travel plans. I was supposed to go to Europe this May, but as I am preparing for something bigger and more permanent, it makes more sense to call it off for now. 

Over the past year, I have all these crazy ideas laid out in the hopes to change how my life is headed. I'm talking about stuff like keeping my remote job I'm no longer happy with while I travel Asia, selling everything I own and moving to Spain permanently, taking a work hiatus and enrolling to language courses in different parts of Europe, and even embarking on a year-long sabbatical to travel the world. The universe, however, has a different plan for me — perhaps a lot better than what I have envisioned for myself.

You know that scene from Friends where Rachel is moving to Paris for a job and she says she's scared but in a good way? Well, I totally get that feeling right now. The next few months are going to be the toughest of my life, but they're also going to bring a whole new kind of change. I know that I have to dig deep and find my inner survivor. It's scary, but man, it also is exciting. I might not have dreamed about this exact situation as a kid, but I always dreamed of a better life, and I know deep down, this is it. 

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