Reverse Monochrome

July 31, 2023

Two important milestones since I last wrote: (1) I processed a black and white film roll and I am beyond in love of how it turned out, (2) I usually find myself daydreaming and very much looking forward to a possibility of a lovely, bright, and colorful future — and how I'm in love with it even before it comes. I know. Two different things on opposite sides of the spectrum — one, which may lack in color but still brings me too much joy; the other, which is so lively and bright. The irony that I didn't know I needed at this point in my life. 
Since I began exploring film photography, I have processed three rolls so far. Unfortunately, the first roll was disappointing due to overexposure, and this was particularly disheartening because it captured the memories of my one-month trip to Western Europe. If that one turned out to be the way I expected it to be, I know there were a lot of good photos (and bittersweet memories) on that roll. Perhaps it's just telling me to go back to Western Europe and try again. Lol. The one following that is an improvement, but it lacks stories, it lacks depth — which is what I want for my digital photos. That' when I decided to switched to black and white film because I thought that the subdued color would at least tell a story — and to my amusement, it did!

Almost August and though I can say that physically I am still here, if I count all the progress I've made in reaching my goal so far, I would say that I am nearly the end of it. This makes me feel too many emotions at once — excitement, happiness, relief, fear, and some other emotions that I cannot describe. I am so ready for this and I want to embrace it fully. To prepare myself, I've been doing some reading, connecting with people, and immersing myself with photographs of what could possibly lies ahead. These simple and innocent visuals are telling me how colorful life can be. While I deeply appreciate the artistry of black and white film, when it comes to leading my life, I wholeheartedly choose to embrace the richness of color, the reverse monochrome.

More soon, X. *wink*

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